Conflict is a normal (although sometimes unpleasant) part of life, and so some conflict at work is a common experience. Conflict means that people care. If no one cared, there would be no conflict. Workplace tensions are more common when everyone’s stress level is raised, such as when changes are being made in an organisation or when people have stress or issues in their personal lives. However, conflict can also occur between colleagues for more personal reasons. 

Conflict vs Bullying

A distinction needs to be drawn between conflict and bullying or harassing behaviour. If differences are managed responsibly, with effective communication and respect, then conflict can lead to positive outcomes. Conflict can even assist in building better work relationships and new solutions can be achieved. 

However, if the conflict leads to undermining, intimidating, threatening or other forms of abusive behaviour, then it can be a significant problem for an organisation and the wellbeing of the employees involved. 

Sources of conflict at work might include: 

• values and beliefs 
• expectations 
• communication styles 
• personality differences 
• feeling one’s status or competency is being questioned 
• feeling on the ‘outer’ in a situation where others have aligned together 

Conflict in the Workplace

If your colleague has a different understanding of the nature of your role or a different expectation about how responsibilities should be divided, it can lead to one of you becoming resentful. 

Or, one of you may avoid conflict at all costs while the other believes in ‘clearing the air’- leading to a further misunderstanding about what is an appropriate way to resolve the conflict. 

It is our emotional response to conflict that can be unpleasant. If we are simply arguing over ideas, it tends to be more easily resolved than if we feel we are being personally attacked. Sometimes the two get confused and we take things personally that do not need to be or that were not meant to be. 

If the conflict cannot be resolved in an effective way, or if it leads to any form of abusive behaviour, then assistance from outside the organisation may be helpful. Such abusive behaviour includes: 

• Discrimination 
• Workplace Bullying / Harassment 
• Sexual Harassment 

Tips to Defuse Conflict 

• Address conflict as it arises if not it will fester and become more problematic. 
• Keep discussion of issue to 10-15 minutes so that stress levels do not rise and cause more conflict. 
• Focus on the facts rather than assumptions. 
• Respect that each person needs time to speak and be listened to. 
• Using language that is empathetic as well as using a relaxed tone of voice is the key to be able to defuse conflict. e.g. “I understand how difficult this must be for you.” 
• Focus on finding a common ground. 
• Discuss how future conflict can be defused