Work out your priorities 

Write them down each morning, prioritise them and take one thing at a time. Include the important people in your life as priorities and attend to these relationships. Keep and make lists. Make the tasks achievable. 

Practice saying ‘no’

Also, practice saying: ‘Not immediately, but next hour/day/week/month, to buy yourself some time. If you are already feeling overloaded, think hard before committing to other people’s expectations or agendas. We can often perform tasks just to feel accepted by other people. Practice saying “no” to requests that are unreasonable or more than you can handle at the time – rather than suffer subsequent regrets and stress. Talk this over with someone you trust. Ask yourself, “What is reasonable?” in this situation. 

Don’t take things personally 

Make allowances for the fact that stress can make you more sensitive in reacting to others and more prone to taking things personally. Also, that stress in others can make them behave atypically or unkindly. 

Learn to defuse anger and frustrations rather than bottle them up. 

Express and discuss your feelings with the person responsible for your agitation. If it is impossible to talk it out, plan for some physical activity at the end of the working day to relieve tensions. 

Let go of grudges; they do not affect the potential victim because he or she does not necessarily know about them. However, the grudge-bearer pays a price in energy and anxiety just thinking about revenge. 

Don’t dwell on the past 

Feelings of guilt, remorse and regret cannot change the past, and they make the present difficult by sapping your energy. Make a conscious effort to do something to change the mood (e.g. mindfulness technique or something active you enjoy) when you feel yourself drifting into regrets about past actions.  

Learn from it and have strategies in place for next time. Learn to forgive yourself for past mistakes. If you find yourself dwelling on a situation that makes you feel angry or guilty, try not to indulge the negative emotion by thinking further about it. Simply label the emotion, “I’m feeling sad right now” and allow the thoughts to drift away. Alternatively, you may need to distract yourself with something you enjoy. 

Prioritise relaxation and exercise 

Set aside time each day for recreation and exercise. These are not optional extras for handling stress; they are essential. Gentle repetitive exercise such as walking, swimming, and cycling, are good to relieve stress. Meditation, yoga, Pilates and dance are also excellent. The trick is to find what suits you best. Hobbies that focus attention are also good stress relievers. Take up a new activity unrelated to your current occupation, one that gives you a sense of achievement and satisfaction. 

Quick Relaxation Techniques 

What relaxes you? Plan to do something that you find refreshing this week. When did you last exercise? A 20-minute walk will make you feel better. It’s best to have a regular, enjoyable time for physical activity. 

Eat well 

This is a time when many of us indulge, but intentionally eating fruit and vegetables and minimising the caffeine, drugs and alcohol (and even chocolate) is helpful. 

Take your time. Don’t let people rush you. 

Allow extra time for the unexpected, slow down your pace, slow down your breathing. If you are frantic, you actually reduce your efficiency at work. 

An Easy Breathing Exercise:

1) Ensure that you are sitting on a comfortable chair or lying on a bed. 

2) Take a breath in for 4 seconds – breathing from the diaphragm, not the chest and through the nose, if possible. 

3) Hold the breath for 2 seconds. 

4) Release the breath, taking 6 seconds, then pause slightly before breathing in again. 

Frenzied activities lead to errors, regrets and stress; request time to orient yourself to the situation. At work, if rushed, ask people to wait until you finish working or thinking something out. Plan to arrive at appointments early, composed and having made allowances for unexpected hold-ups. Practice approaching situations mindfully. 

Identify your stress situations 

Make a list of events that leave you emotionally drained, with one or two ways to reduce the stress for each. When they occur, use them as an opportunity to practise your stress reduction techniques, then keep notes on what works for next time. 

Practice Mindfulness 

This is where you let your frantic thinking be put aside and notice the present moment, without making any judgments, good or bad. 

Here is a simple mindfulness exercise called “Notice Five Things”. This is an exercise to centre yourself and connect with your environment. Practice it throughout the day, especially any time you find yourself getting caught up in your thoughts and feelings. 

1) Pause for a moment. 

2) Look around and notice five things you can see. Name them. 

3) Listen carefully and notice five things you can hear. Name them. 

4) Notice five things you can feel in contact with your body. (Five things you can feel). Name them. For example, your watch against your wrist, your trousers/skirt against your legs, the air on your face, your feet on the floor, your back against the chair etc. For more Mindfulness in Everyday Life, see the Black Dog Institute website. 

Mindful Breathing 

For one whole minute, close your eyes and notice your breathing. Focus your attention only on it. Feel your breath in your nose and mouth and slow it down a little. Feel your chest muscles rise and fall. 

Mindful Walking 

Concentrate on being in the present as you walk. Feel the ground under your feet, notice your breathing. Look at the sky, the trees, the other walkers: be absorbed in the world around you. 

Enjoy Circuit Breakers 

• Have a bath
• Laugh regularly 
• Have a massage 
• Read for pleasure 
• Make time to do something you like doing 
• Exercise 
• Take regular breaks 
• Talk to someone 

Sources of Assistance 

• Your General Practitioner 
• Community Health Centres 
• Courses and Workshops Self-help books such as: 
  • Pocket Guide to Stress Reduction by Brenda O’Hanlon
  • Management Guide to Handling Stress by Kate Keenan
  • Who Moved My Cheese by Dr Spencer Johnson
  • Change Your Thinking by Sarah Edelman 

• Your EAP Provider